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Fic: Closet: Different

Title: Closet: Different
Pairing: Wordy. You know what it means. Er...it means Willow/Cordelia...just in case you didn't know...
Setting: AtS S1/BtVS S4 between I Will Remember You and Something Blue
Rating: Soft R
Warnings: A bit of sexiness
Word count: 1,525
Summary: After Oz's departure, Willow visits Cordelia in LA. The future is wide open for them, and Willow is eager to take advantage of her new freedom.

Image by xlivvielockex

This fic is the fourth part in a series. Check out the series index.

It was like resting her head against a squishy pillow. Well, two squishy pillows. That moved and that held the soothing rhythm of a quiet heartbeat. Plus, warm. And it smelled like...well, like some expensive lotion or body spray or something. Willow was sure it was Chanel or Tommy Hilfiger or some other big name brand that she knew nothing about.

The heart thumped. The chest rose. Willow grinned as her head rose with it. Cordy tugged at Willow's hair.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about - " Your boobs? That didn't want to come out.

It didn't need to. Willow's butt received a sharp smack. "You little perv," Cordelia said. "I was telling you about that audition I had last week and you're giggling over my...boobies." Cordelia whispered the last word.

Willow raised her head to look at Cordy. The brunette couldn't hide the amused smirk, though she was still trying to look stern. "I was just thinking about how comfy I am." Willow whispered a finger down Cordy's face. "And about how pretty you are."

Wide Cordelia smile. "Duh."

"Am I pretty?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Please? Fishing for compliments?"

Willow poked at Cordy's ribs beneath her. "Come on. My self-esteem's all mopey cause of the Oz thing, you know."

Cordelia 's jocular expression vanished. "Yeah, forgot. That's tough."

Willow nodded, resting her chin on Cordelia's breasts. It was tough. Oz had left. And, yeah, his stuff was still there, but he was gone, and Willow didn't know when he was coming back. Or if he was coming back.

And on the other hand, it gave her a chance to see Cordelia for the first time since Cordy had left for LA. And that was nice and things were so different now with college and Willow felt like she was on the brink of a whole new life. And maybe that's why Oz left. Cause, he was her old life...or something like that.

Cordy was...well, she was part of her old life. Because, hello! They had known each other for years. But maybe they could go somewhere new. Like, a new relationship place now that things were so different.

"Look, you're getting all thoughtful and stuff." Cordelia said. "It's cute."

Willow grinned. "And pretty?"

"Fine. Pretty." Cordelia brushed aside Willow's bangs. "Very pretty college girl."

Willow leaned forward to kiss her, shifting her body up so her breasts lay on top of Cordelia's. Squishy meeting squishy. Well, hers were slightly less squishy cause...smaller. But it was still a not-unpleasant sensation, even through clothing.

Just as with the kissing. Hot and slow with nibbling and moaning and Cordy's hand tangled in her hair. Willow could lose herself in this woman. Move past Oz. Be different. Change.

Or maybe be herself for once.

Cordelia's arm around her waist pulled her closer. One sneaky hand crept up Willow's bare back underneath her shirt. Cordelia's other hand tugged Willow's head up, and Willow obliged happily. She exposed her neck to Cordelia's attentions. Nimble fingers unclasped her bra.

Willow was straddling Cordelia's stomach with her hands combing through Cordelia's long, shampoo-commercial perfect hair. Cordelia's tongue teased her neck. Biting behind the ear. Fingers pinched her nipple while forcefully palming her breast.

Cordelia was such a demanding partner. So different from Oz.

Different was good.

Willow's shirt came off. She couldn't tell if she took it off or if Cordy did. Maybe it was a joint effort. But it was discarded along with her bra, and Cordelia pulled Willow forward even more to apply mouth to boob. Willow's legs had gone all tingly and her panties were probably ruined.

Hands reached into her jeans, cupping her ass. They squeezed hard and Cordy bit down on Willow's nipple. Willow gasped, clutching Cordy closer to her. She reached one knee back, positioning it between Cordy's legs. She could feel Cordy's wetness through the material at her knee. She applied pressure and was rewarded with a groan as Cordy moved her hips to match Willow's stimulation.

This could be the greatest thing ever. It would be like the silver lining on the whole Oz thing. Lose Oz, which was depressing and icky-making. But gain something she'd wanted for long before Oz even showed up. And then with the all-new hair and the all-new school and the all-new dorm she'd have an all-new life. With Cordelia. And things would be good and sweet and funny and different. Very, very different from how things had been before and how would she tell Xander anyway? But that wasn't what she needed to be thinking about know because oh God, Cordelia's hand was brushing between her legs and wow!

Rational thought shut down.

"Cordy," Willow said on a breath. "We should do it."

Cordelia's mouth left her breasts and why did it seem so cold? "Well, we kinda are doing it, silly."

"No," Willow was panting but she couldn't stop the shakiness. "Not just that, but we should be...'us'. Like, together. You and I. In a couple sorta way." She smiled. It was an automatic thing when she said 'couple'.

Hands vanished from her jeans, and Cordelia scooted to sit up slightly. She squinted. "A couple. Us?"

"Yeah. Cause, well, we're both single now. And things are different now that we're out of high school. And it's not rebound or anything cause I liked you way before I liked Oz, but it's just that now seems right to do this, you know? We're independent and free and...well...we like each other. So..."

Cordelia laughed. "Have you lost it? We can't have a 'relationship', Willow!"

It was like somebody kicked her heart. And then stomped on her stomach. "Why not?"

"Well, hello? Me? With a woman? Come on! Besides, I'll never make it as an actress if I'm with a girl. Duh!"

Moisture at her eyes, but she could hold it in. "Yeah...did you meet any of the people in theater in high school?"

"Please. Those are stage actors. They're supposed to be freaky. Screen actresses aren't. How many big name movie stars do you know who are in a lezbo relationship?"

Willow looked away because looking at Cordelia saying those words was painful. She stood up and snatched her bra and shirt from the floor.

"What are you doing?" Cordelia asked.

Okay, of course. When Willow wanted to make a quick, smooth exit, her hands were all shaky and tangling up the bra. Why were these things so complicated?

"I need to go...home. Cause of stuff." Strap was no longer wrapped around the cup. Good start. Now to actually put it on.

"What? Don't be like that. Look, we just can't do something like that. I mean, Angel and Doyle would look at me all funny like I was some freak. Plus, you're in Sunnydale. I'm in LA..."

Clasp. Clasp. Her fingers kept missing. "Yeah, I thought we could work around that or something. Obviously, a dumb idea. Silly me."

Clasp! Straps all untwisty and in place. Now the shirt.

Cordelia stood up. "You can't leave. You just got here! And you said you'd stay for the weekend. You haven't even met Phantom Dennis."

"Yeah, sorry." If Willow looked down at her shoeless feet she didn't have to look at Cordelia. Shoeless. Shoes? Where had her shoes gone?

"Hey!" Cordelia grabbed her hand. Willow still refused to look at her. "Don't be like that, Willow. This is...this is fun. And we can have fun together, and it'll be sweet and stuff. But it can't be anything more than that. Come on, you know that. It would just be too...different."

Ah, there her shoes were. And what do you know? They were laughing at her.

Willow walked past Cordelia to fetch her shoes. "Let's just forget it."

"But I was looking forward to this weekend." Fingers stroked her back through her shirt. "I do want you."

If she turned to look at Cordy she'd start crying. "Not enough," she said. Not enough for Cordy. Not enough for Oz. Never enough.

Shoes were on. She broke contact with the enticing siren fingers to grab her bag. The door was in sight. Just leave. What happened in LA, stayed in LA. Walk away. It was a dumb idea anyway. Very dumb. What had she been thinking? Settling down with the girl she'd had a crush on for years? Being all out and proud like everybody would be okay with it? Believing that all this actually meant something to Cordelia when it obviously was just a bit of "fun" for her?

So dumb.


Willow had the door open. The room seemed to be willing her to turn and look at Cordelia. Must be Phantom Dennis playing tricks on her. Because if she looked, she'd cave and she'd stay and they'd have such a fantastic time until Willow had to leave and then nothing. And it would kill her. To see how gorgeous Cordy is, and feel all the incredible things she could make her feel, and not to have any more than that...

It would be the cruelest tease.

She ignored Cordelia.

Willow left, closing the door behind her.


( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 24th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
*uses a huggy Willow icon*

Glad you liked it. Cordy just takes a bit of time. :)
Aug. 24th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
Eeeeeeee, it's all angsty! YESYESYESYES!

Uhhhh...I mean, poor Willow! Cordy, um, better do some groveling, or something! *cough*

Anyway - squee! This is turning into a series of SERIOUS YUMMY PROPORTIONS, LOOK AT MY EXCITED CAPSLOCK STATE. ZOMG.

There will be some groveling though, right?
Aug. 24th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
Well, I had to have some conflict somewhere. ;)

There will be some groveling though, right?

Willow would settle for nothing less. *nods*
Aug. 24th, 2009 10:24 pm (UTC)
*spontaneously bursts into tears at your icon*

Willow would settle for nothing less. *nods*

I should think not! Lesbians have better memories than fucking elephants, cause we NEVER forget a dyke who crosses us. Or take her back before some serious prezzie-type offers are made. Yup.
Aug. 24th, 2009 10:31 pm (UTC)
Everybody's just hoping to see a round of Wordy Mistress of Pain. :)

Lesbians have better memories than fucking elephants, cause we NEVER forget a dyke who crosses us.

Yeah, you girls never forget a bi chick who decides to go back to the penis either! Such a vengeful bunch.

...say, Anya should've been a lesbian.
Aug. 24th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)
...say, Anya should've been a lesbian.

Make it so.

Aug. 25th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
I believe peroxidepirate wrote me a Willow/Anya drabble once...
Aug. 25th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC)
Mmmmm...Mistress of Pain...sorry, what? :P

Yeah, you girls never forget a bi chick who decides to go back to the penis either! Such a vengeful bunch.

We slash their tires and spray paint "Evil Dick Lover" all of their cars. And then get drunk and cry about how no one loves us. :D

...say, Anya should've been a lesbian.

Just getting this now, honey? It's totally canon that Anya the Vengeance Demon was a lez. I mean...hating on men for centuries? Yeah. Not exactly seeing how the years of man hatred made her suuuch an expert on heterosexual sex.
Aug. 25th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
We slash their tires and spray paint "Evil Dick Lover" all of their cars.

Yeah. Man, I have to buy a lot of tires.

Just getting this now, honey? It's totally canon that Anya the Vengeance Demon was a lez. I mean...hating on men for centuries? Yeah.

So that would make Xander like Ben Affleck or something? ;)
Aug. 25th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
Haha, I'm sure there's a market for special Angry-Dyke-Proof (TM) tires.

So that would make Xander like Ben Affleck or something? ;)

Erm...I guess? Not hip enough to get the reference.
Aug. 25th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
What type of lesbian are you?? Ben Affleck who successfully turns lesbians straight? In Chasing Amy and *shudders* Gigli? Apparently, he's irresistible to the dykes.
Aug. 27th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)
Mmmm, didn't see either of those. I am a bad lesbian. (But I have short hair!!)
Aug. 24th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
Bah, I was just riding a Patton Oswalt high and then I go and crash into angsty!Willow. I say we lynch Cordy (and Oz) for hurting Willow. *wanders off in search of pitchfork*
Aug. 24th, 2009 09:32 pm (UTC)
I'm taking lessons from ol' Joss and pouring some angst on Wordy. :)

*hides the pitchforks*

I need Cordy intact for the next installment!
Aug. 24th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)
What about Oz; do you need him? Someone has to pay for Willow's pain. *calls the Initiative*
Aug. 24th, 2009 10:21 pm (UTC)
Hmmm...I don't need Oz, but I am quite fond of him...
Aug. 24th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, poor Willow. And Cordy and her shallowness.
Aug. 25th, 2009 07:42 pm (UTC)
Very poor Willow. :)
Aug. 25th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
Oh, that was cruel. Really good, but cruel. Poor Willow.

And Willow's shoes are clearly evil. (Loved that line.)
Aug. 25th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :)

And Willow's shoes are clearly evil.

Well, see, now you ruined the big plot twist! ;)
Aug. 25th, 2009 09:04 am (UTC)
*finally delurks*

"But I was looking forward to this weekend." Fingers stroked her back through her shirt. "I do want you."

If she turned to look at Cordy she'd start crying. "Not enough," she said.

Ouch. Too real. I have been that Willow.

::hugs Willow, gives her Dar Williams and Melissa Ferrick CDs::

I'm loving this Wordy series (I kinda love all your fic, esp. Murphy's Law). It's fun, but the emotions feel very real---you handle the dance between Willow's confusion and Cordy's protective distance very well. Makes it feel like a very realistic push me/pull you relationship. Although I second the suggestion for lesbian!Anya; I say Willow should go have a torrid love/hate affair with her in retaliation, and so Cordy gets all jealous...

um, mind if I friend you? I don't really use my journal for much other than lurking, although I think I'll be commenting more often...
Aug. 25th, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks! It's an interesting series to write. I'm so glad people are enjoying it. :)

um, mind if I friend you?

Friends are awesome. And extra bonus friend points for the Ani DiFranco icon.
Aug. 26th, 2009 04:53 am (UTC)
And extra bonus friend points for the Ani DiFranco icon.

Aug. 25th, 2009 09:42 am (UTC)
Awww, it's so yummy at the beginning and just breaks your heart at the end. Silly Cordy, poor Willow.
Aug. 25th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
It's like I picked up lessons from Joss, himself. ;)

Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Aug. 25th, 2009 11:07 am (UTC)
Awww... Poor Willow. Wonderfully done.
Aug. 25th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
Oct. 17th, 2011 08:01 pm (UTC)

poor willow :(

that... hurt. Well done, an awesome writer is you!

but... ouch.
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )


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