I find it hard to call any of the times Buffy initiated sex rape because Spike does consent retroactively - I mean, if she had asked, I have no doubt at all that he would have said yes. (Even with the fellatio incident, his reaction reads to me as "Aw, man, I really don't want you to stop, but I gotta stand on principle. Dammit.") But I do think that there's some really dubious stuff about them nonetheless, so I'm reluctant to label them not-rape either.

I put no for the last question but I really meant to say that it's really unlikely and difficult to imagine but not impossible.

For a man to be raped by a woman two things are needed: the woman overpower the man and the man has a hard-on against his consent (medical constriction, or something). Or she has a strap-on.

"I find it hard to call any of the times Buffy initiated sex rape because Spike does consent retroactively - I mean, if she had asked . . ."


In "Gone", Spike DID NOT originally consent to having sex with an invisible Buffy. She entered his place, threw him against the wall and proceeded to rip off his clothes. During this period, Spike tried to fight her off and looked genuinely frightened. Only when Buffy finally exposed herself with a laugh, did Spike choose to have sex with her.

It started out as attempted rape and ended up as simply an act of sex.

A woman can rape a man by overpowering him, blackmailing him into performing, produce a hard-on against his consent, use a strap-on or use a date rape drug.

One of the female writers of BUFFY once admitted that she tried to rape her boyfriend, after he had dumped her.

Faith/Xander: Definitely attempted rape.

Smashed: I put not rape. Definitely dubious, though. Pictured it with a man initiating instead of a woman and still came on the dubious side.

1st Gone Scene: Put unknown, but as they had a sexual relationship going on at that time I'm leaning more towards not rape (my husband doesn't have to ask permission every time, but he knows the "no" signs, which is what you learn when you're in an established sexual relationship).

2nd Gone Scene: Put unknown. Kind of for the reasons in the 1st Gone scene of their being a sexual relationship, and because we later see her grumbling because he turned her out.

Real World: Yes, a man can be raped by a woman. I know a man whose been raped by a woman.

Faith towards Xander definitely rape. It was about power and Xander not consenting was almost the point.

I wouldn't call any of the Buffy/Spike examples rape except in a metaphorical sense (I don't think literal rape can be mutual). I think they both knew the game they were playing even though they were making up the rules as they went along and it was a bad game. For me the incident that came closest to rape in that phase of the relationship was the balcony scene. It's sexy but not fun. She says "Don't," and he says "Make me," but I still don't think calling it rape would add anything to our understanding of what was going on and if that wasn't rape nothing else even came close.

Faith and Xander in "Consequences:" definitely attempted rape -- he probably would have consented if she'd gone about it differently, but she didn't ask. Instead she used her superior strength to take away his ability to choose how to respond.

Both incidents in "Gone" (and admittedly I haven't seen that ep. in quite a while): unknown, for reasons other people have already mentioned.

Buffy and Spike in "Smashed:" it actually never occurred to me to question whether there was an issue of consent -- I guess because, in the context of the characters at that point in the series, I'm sure Spike would have said yes IF Buffy had bothered to ask. Also because the whole point of that ep. is that Spike and Buffy are on a level playing field now: he can hit back, and that allows them to have a relationship. And finally, because the next morning, Spike is the one who's happy about what happened. None of which would make any difference in the real world, but in terms of fiction, these all seem like indications of Not Rape.

The balcony scene aycheb mentioned: probably the squickiest scene in their whole relationship, at least for me. But still gray area -- Buffy didn't give actual consent, and yet she could have walked away (or, you know, yelled "Fire!") and she didn't.

Real life: coercion, blackmail, taking advantage of someone's reluctance to hurt you, taking advantage of someone who's drunk or sleeping... yeah, it's possible.

I just have real problems classifying anything in Gone as being even dubious. It sometimes reads to me like an attempt to level the field to make Spike's actions in SR more forgiveable. But in Gone, the two have an ongoing sexual history, and initiation without asking permission isn't uncommon. Spike is clearly extremely into it, and when he does say no, he seems more annoyed by her trying to shut him up than by her violating him. I just think it's a huge stretch.

Of course a woman could never rape a man. Much like a woman could never be a bad parent or a serial killer. All women on the planet are only ever made of goodness and light.

I don't know of a man personally who has been raped by a woman, but I have no doubt that it could (and does, and is probably rarely reported out of extreme shame, because the idea of a woman raping or taking advantage of a man is generally viewed as "ludicrous") and does happen.

The Faith/Xander scene was mos def AR, since Xander expresses that's exactly what he doesn't want to do, and Faith holds him down, choking him. So it went from AR to attempted murder. And "Gone," well, I definitely view the exchange overall at the very least assault, and then sexual assault. You can't just burst into someone's home, toss them around and rip off their clothes. One night stand (at that point) or not. If Buffy had not been invisible (though I doubt she would have showed up if she hadn't been), and she showed up like that, Spike more than likely would have still been pissed off, considering how she kicked him out (well, vehemently expressing wanting him to just get out--he looks pissed off when he goes) earlier that morning.

While I do believe the Buffy/Spike interaction mentioned above was slightly dub-con, I wouldn't consider it rape or sexual assault since I believe Spike enjoyed it and it was what he wanted, really.

And it is definitely possible for a man to be raped by a woman. Just like when a man rapes a woman, her orgasm is an uncontrollable reaction, just as his erection/orgasm would be. I definitely do not think it is very common, but it is definitely possible. Though I don't think women can date rape men because if they used the drug, a physical reaction can't take place. At least that's what my health teacher taught me...

It's funny how when I was much younger and S6 was first airing I was all "Squee! Spuffiness! Yay for togetherness!"

Now most of their relationship in S6 just really... Wigs me out. They both pushed at boundaries they probably never really talked about setting and they both acted in such a dangerous fashion which eventually culminated in the unpleasant AR scene.

"Consequences" -- Yeah. Faith overpowered him and pushed him to the bed, while he said "No." That's... not much of a grey area.

"Smashed" -- I never saw a consent issue there. He responded pretty enthusiastically.

"Gone" 1 -- Dubious. I never thought about that hard, but, yeah, throwing someone against the wall, ripping their clothes off before they know who you are, not good. However he seemed to have obviously given in after he figured out it was Buffy, so... idk.

"Gone" 2 -- I really don't know, since we don't see the end of it - I could imagine him giving in and going "alright", which wouldn't really make it sexual assault (though it would still be a morality dubious action on Buffy's part, initiating it). If he'd stuck to him guns and said "no" and she'd kept going? Yeah, that would be sexual assault.

I would like some clarifaction on why so many of the people on here think that Faith tried to rape Xander.