<--never wants to see Spike in khakis again :P

I just don't think Spike could really bring himself to stake her. I think that's actually a huge part of the reason Angelus hated Buffy so much--that Angel staked Darla for her. For Spike, poet that he is, I think just saying it was more making a statement than the act itself. Just can't wrap my head around him actually doing that. *shrug*

Darla specifically mentions love in s1--in the ep where Angel kills her. I think the whole "carnal bond" or whatever is just a fanon perception. Vampires are capable of love.

Angelus was crueler than usual, I think, because he could still feel Angel's love for Buffy, and because Angel killed Darla. How could that not add extra malice? I mean, it made him crazy(er). Like that destroy the world business. Angelus loved luxury too much to really want that.

I do understand your point. That being said, I don't think Buffy's view was the correct one. I mean, before the whole chained up incident (which, I think was spurred on by Drusilla being there causing all types of confusion), Buffy got agitated when Spike actually started behaving courteously towards her. That holding open the door thing for her is what pushed her over the edge. She could have just said "thanks," or nothing at all and kept on moving. Long story short, I think it only became an aggravating point for him when she pushed the issue with him only to say he could never be good, his feelings could never be real, etc.

Additionally, what always baffled me is that if she really thinks that Spike would take being punched or whatever as a sign of foreplay or interest, why did she do it before learning about his crush? What was the point of that? (Rhetorical--don't expect you to answer :P)

As for Darla and Angelus, Darla specifically says he loved her back:

DARLA: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?
BUFFY: Bad hair on top of that outfit?
DARLA: To love someone who used to love you.

So she's basically admitting she does still love him, and that once upon a time, he loved her back. Buffy's retorts treat it all as a joke, but Darla seemed serious, and Angel denied none of it.

No, I do too. I just don't think the rationale and the actions were consistent, is all.

Yeah, I got it.
Even for me Buffy seemed too much in denial: of course, she has strong issues after the Angelus incident. But, I still think that, in some ways, she was right about vampires, they can't love in human way. About Darla and Angel: he's of course the same, doesn't admit anything, but I doubt that, back in the days when he was completly sadistic and sociopath, his feelings for her were *true*.