Well, I made it through Entropy. Am I the only one who finds Entropy harder to watch than Seeing Red? I don't see it talked about much, either.

I have trouble articulating why it bothers me so much, but I decided I might go ahead and try to list out some reasons and see what happens. And this isn't "bothers me" in the sense of "it's a bad episode". It's "bothers me" in the sense of "it's difficult to watch cause it guts me emotionally".

Possible reasons?

1. It's a strange episode, when you think about it. For one, there is no external conflict. We get a handful of Trio scenes, but they're largely gearing up for Seeing Red. No, Entropy is all about the group dynamics. It's a supernatural soap opera episode.

The show rarely does this, even as the seasons progress. The only other example I can think of is Into the Woods.

2. A lot of fans criticize the Scoobies' in-group clique-yness. Well, this episode does the same through Anya and Spike. This is a good thing, in my mind, but it makes me hurt for the both of them.

Add in the extra twist of Anya feeling excluded because nobody will help her torture/kill Xander, and I'm just...a bit overwhelmed at the fact that I'm feeling so much sympathy for her. Don't get me wrong. I typically have no trouble sympathizing with characters, even when they're doing shitty stuff (Hello, I love Buffy during S6). But this seems a little more difficult for me to get the cognitive dissonance worked out.

In any case, the two of them bonding as outsiders, seeking comfort in each other. Okay, yeah, it gets to me. I ache for them.

3. I want to bundle Spike up and give him a big ol' cuddle at the end of this episode. When Xander starts attacking him and Spike takes it. Doesn't try to fight back. He's defeated already, just giving in. Oh, Spike. *huggles*

Also, his dejected look to Xander hurling so many dehumanizing insults at him. Xander's not even talking to Spike, he's talking to Anya as if she just fucked a dog or something. It kills me. I can't stand it.

Hell, I can completely understand why Spike feels the need to take some of his own back by letting out that he and Buffy had had sex. I don't know if he does so with the intention of trying to raise his own status up (I fucked Buffy, I can't be that bad) or if his intent is to drag Buffy down in Xander's eyes (Well, if Anya sleeping with me upset you, get a load of this). I'm not sure. I don't care. I want to hug him all the same.



4. Then there's Anya's reaction to Xander's slut-shaming. Ugh. It hurts.

5. Maybe this is the biggest thing for me, though. It's that Anya and Spike were not doing anything wrong with their little one-off. Buffy had dumped Spike and told him to move on. Xander had left Anya at the altar. They were unattached and free to do what - or who - they wanted.

And I get majorly squicked that everybody watched it. Watched what should have been an intimate, private moment between them.

I further hate that both of them are subsequently blamed for it by Dawn and Xander (and kinda Buffy, though - to her credit - she tried to avoid Spike), and nobody really goes, "Hey, guys. They didn't do anything wrong."

I know it's not necessary. That happens. People get blamed unfairly. The show doesn't need to hold my hand and spell it out that Anya and Spike are being held to an unfair standard. It's very obvious. But it still hurts because a moment that should have been comforting for both of them ends up being, in retrospect, an ugly mistake.

It wasn't a mistake. Or, it wouldn't have been if it had remained private, as it should have been.

For some reason, this bothers me.

Well, it's over with. I don't know if I'll do Seeing Red tonight or not. On the one hand, it gets me to the Dark Willow episodes! On the other hand...you know.

I might just save it for later and play The Sims 2, instead...