I've never had sex and I've never written one before.

What is this "sex" you speak of??

*gasp*

Can I guard against it by brooding?

I only have a limited number of Angel icons, but you simply can't go wrong with penguins.

Aw, grumpy face. I'd try to cheer you up with GIFs, but alas I cannot.

*dances*

*shimmies*

It's electric!

I think "actual incidents, situations or actions" rather than "actual positions" is closer to the mark, but I ticked your second option anyway.

When I write fic - not only sex scenes - I try and bring it to life, make it vivid in the reader's mind by mentioning all the little details that you'd experience if you were actually there. Sights and sounds and smells and tastes and feelings. I don't think I could do that and *not* draw on my own experiences to a degree, even if I have to extrapolate or use things other people have told me to extend it to things I've not done personally.

Never had sex - but I have been extremely turned on, on occasion. Things which turn me on are likely to make their way into the (few) sex scenes I've written...

Well, I haven't had sex, and all of the sex scenes I write are very, very vague. Nothing higher than Rish, mostly in PG-13 territory, where you know what's happening, but I don't really get into it detail-wise. So I guess both of the invalid options are the ones I should choose?

I've written shamefully bad sex scenes with original characters that stay in a drawer, hidden. I've never had sex. I don't know for sure whether by sexual experience you are restricting the options to interactions with people, but I'm assuming you are.

I don't think actually having sex has been much help to me in writing sex scenes. (Otherwise I'd be writing for Harlequin.) They each have their own skill set, and I'm usually more comfortable fading to black. That said, sometimes situational knowledge is helpful. Spooning with a dude in post-coital bliss? The phenomenon of "y helo thar" is good to be familiar with. Especially if he is a sexy platinum blond vampire with a short refractory period. I mean, just sayin'.

Edited at 2010-08-03 01:50 am (UTC)

Yes! Those are important details indeed.

I think bob and I may be having a sex scene throwdown in which we use gross words and bodily fluids yet MAKE IT SEXY.

I've yet to write all-out smut. When/if I do, I'll probably draw upon actual experiences for inspiration, the same way that I draw inspiration from dramatic or humorous scenes I've been involved with.

Unless we're using different meanings of the term...

We could be.

An example would be spending a very enjoyable day at the beach with friends, and then feeling the inclination to include a beach scene in a fic. Perhaps some elements of my own day, say an amusing mishap with a bottle of sunblock or watching a beautiful sunset might find their way into the scene. Etc.

I have had sex, but it's sex totally unlike the sex I write about due to incompatible plumbing issues, and the fact that many of the kinks my characters enjoy would send me screaming and running in the opposite direction.

I have not yet written a sex scene but I have had sex which, I have noticed, makes me far less tolerant to young teens' terrible ideas about sex in their fanfiction.

I'm actually more likely to use real dialogue (amended for vampirism etc) than real positions. Mainly because there are lots of helpful "reference works" about weird and unlikely positions but very few places you can look up "things real people might conceivably say immediately after mindblowing/enjoyable/routine/deeply awkward/disastrous sex". Whereas my brain has a helpful reference section for all of the above... *g*

I've had sex and I've only ever written 1215 words and it got to the smut and I ran for the hills. *is scared*

I've noticed though that I can write IM smut but not fanfic smut. It's a thing...

What I find really annoys me is reading first time fic and there is so much pain when the sex happens. I don't remember pain my first time... *shrugs*

*doesn't know much about that stuff*

*shrugs*

You'd think that Slayer muscles would do something about that.
Actually I know that goldenusagi posted about that pain thing a while back...

:(
I'm sorry to hear that.
*hugs*

Have had sex. Don't use it in my scenes due to what someone else said about incompatible plumbing.

Am still in therapy about the time my mom said a novel I was writing needed a sex scene. That comment was when I was 18 and still a virgin.

That might explain much of what is wrong with me. ;)

You know, I was wondering why I've been seeing so much PG and PG-13 fic lately.

It's cause no one's having THE SEX.

O_o

On occasion, when I wanted to write about weird positions or something that I hadn't experienced first hand, I more or less interviewed friends who'd done it, for the sake of realism. In all cases it lead to lots of laughter, and in some to good smut scenes.

Heh, I don't think it's something Ms. Manners would approve of, but they knew why I was asking, and then I had them proofread the scenes for inaccuracies.

I don't think I'm the sanest of people :P

Not a writer, but I have always been curious about where female writers writing male slash get their knowledge. Obviously not from first hand experience, but it seems to work.

Sometimes I think I can tell when a sex scene was written by someone who hasn't had sex. Or who has no knowledge of how raging urinary tract infections are caused. Just sayin. Mostly though, I'm not too fussy. My brain can fill in or skip as needed. For the record- have had sex. Lots of times and lots of different ways. No sketches though. ;)

I have a serious block I am trying to break when it comes to writing sex. I have sex a bunch, considering I am a married woman, and love/read a ton of sexual fanfic (sometime I even seek it out, gasp) but when it comes to writing it, I blush like a virgin and keep looking over my shoulder. It, I believe, is at the root of my nearly ten year now dry spell when it comes to writing anything, and I am going to break it. I WILL DAMNIT

At least it's not just me :p