You know, before I list out the links this week, I wanna try to touch on a big misunderstanding on the alcohol + sex = rape? thing. Because it's commonly thought that feminazisnists believe that having one drink incapacitates you so sleeping with a slightly tipsy woman means you raped her. And...well, let's allow for outliers, I'm sure some people out there think that. But that's not the party line.

Remember, we're not omniscient god-on-high assessing each sexual encounter. The alcohol question becomes relevant when there's an accusation of rape.

I was reading an article the other day where a woman told about her experience once getting really drunk with a trusted male friend. She couldn't make it to her own place for some reason, so he let her crash at his. She took the bed, he said he'd take the couch. In the night, though, he started trying to fondle her. She pushed him away and said "no" repeatedly. He left and she passed out/fell asleep. She woke up to him having sex with her. At this point, she was still very drunk and couldn't muster up the energy to push him off. So she let him finish.

Rape? I'd hope most people reading this would say, "Yes". Catch is, he was drunk too. Still rape? To my great horror, the majority of the commenters said no because, hey, they were both drinking so why punish the guy for drunk sex?

Okay, folks, that scenario is what feminists are thinking of when talking about alcohol and rape. Not the crazy, wild, drunken sex that ends up with neither party feeling particularly violated (though they may cringe in the morning when they see their partner). We're talking about something that would be rape even when sober. We're talking about women (or, on rare occasions, men) being too incapacitated to resist, even though they're not consenting.

And the person doing the raping? Doesn't get a "get out of jail free" pass just cause they were plastered, either. Cause if you kill someone while drunk, you're still held responsible. And if you rape someone while drunk...well...you're not really held responsible cause the legal system doesn't handle it well. But you should.

Capiche?

Now the links!

1. Trigger Warning! Links deal with rape. Click with care.

2. I don't always agree with the links. I just think they're interesting.

3. If there's comments and you have the time, give them a read.



GLBT:

The Gender Blender Blog's "Corrective rape" my ass!

"It is mindblowingly ridiculous to think that any form of rape can be "corrective" and that it can "cure" sexual orientation. Rape is rape, end of story. It doesn't correct or cure anything. It's just a weapon to enforce patriarchy and imposed gender norms. Moreover, all of these attempts to categorize rape ("corrective", date rape, spousal rape, etc.) are just ways to try to lessen the violent reality."

Rape culture:

Tiger Beatdown's Perfect Disguise: Isaac Brock, Samantha Shapiro, and the Ethics of Journalism in Rape Culture

"This is how rape culture is created. The social penalties for reporting a rape are so severe, and the odds for successfully making a case are so small, that we effectively encourage women to let rapists get away with it, and discourage them from holding rapists accountable. Rapes happen, and then they disappear, and the Isaac Brock story seems to be a remarkably clear example of exactly why and how that happens, whether or not he did it: the mechanisms of silencing talk about rape charges are kind of unmissable."

Feministe's Abstinence-Only Ed Sez, "You can’t rape a slut!"

"If you're American, your tax dollars are funding this, and effectively subsidizing rape culture. As Joe points out, abstinence-only ed has received $1.8 million in federal funding so far, and they're slotted to receive another $1.8M in the next three years. We’ve spent $1.5 billion dollars on these programs in the last decade."

Feministe's If You’re In Porn, You Can’t Be Raped - Relevant link

"A few things: First, just because a woman appears in a porn magazine, or because she enjoys rough sex, or because she's had a lot of sexual partners, or because she's a sex worker, it doesn't mean she can't be raped (hell, sex workers are more likely to be raped that non-sex workers)."

Washington City Paper's Legal Consent, Morning-After Regret, and "Accidental" Rape

"When rapists engage in sex acts without bothering to gain their sex partner's consent, they are not "accidentally" raping someone. Rapes don’t come from miscommunication. They are not isolated, unpreventable incidents. They are a product of institutionalized, reinforced, life-long privilege. They are the symptoms of a flaw in the rapist's entire worldview. They are the product of the way the rapist has habitually devalued women, laid claim to the bodies of others, pursued what he wants no matter what—and never thought anything of it because he has never been called on it. That’s not an accident. That's a system."

Numbers:

Reclusive Leftist's The Rape Cycle

"By middle school, American children have already drunk deeply from the patriarchy: they know that men have the right to sexually possess women, that women can be bought, and that women who aren’t virgins are fair game for rape."

Polanski:

flip flopping joy's Why they defend…

"So it really sorta makes sense, really, that Polanski (and other abusers throughout the U.S./world) is finding so much support. And that a grown up woman has to be reminded of what surely must've been stomped in her brain as a thirteen year old–her body is not worth protecting. Her body, her sanity and safety is worth less than a few films. That she physically and vocally has to *agree* that her body is not important just so people will leave her the hell alone."

Sex Trafficking:

Huffington Post's Iran's Dark Secret: Child Prostitution and Sex Slaves

"So far, Iran has demonstrated an abysmal lack of effort towards reigning in sexual trafficking. When brothels are brought down, the people most often punished are the girls themselves. Unwilling to distinguish between consensual intercourse and rape, officials will torture and execute girls for violating Iran's standards of behavior. In one particular case cited in the State Department report, a 16 year old girl was hanged after being accused of "engaging in acts incompatible with chastity.""

The Problem:

"but nobody told them to go there. i can see 'i live at a dorm and i got raped'. i know. you have to live there, probably. but a PARTY??? you didnt WANT to be raped but you knew it was such a probablility" - (link)

"Now, obviously the fact that a victim testifies that she did not give consent is good evidence on the issue of consent, but I think there are good reasons for not accepting it as sufficient evidence in every rape case. Rape is a crime with a high rate of false reporting and consent can be an incredibly tricky thing to gauge in a sexual situation. Maybe sexual behavior should change so that that's not the case, but right now, there are men having sex with women, thinking they have consent, when they in fact do not. Criminalizing them means punishing them when they have perfectly good reasons to believe that they're following the law. To me, and I think to most people, the evil of branding someone as a rapist when they're intent was to follow the law is sufficient reason to keep these inferences the way they are." - (link)

">Admit it: nice girls don't get raped.

They probably don't as often." - (link)

"The fact that the young woman in this case is a drunken slut doesn't make one or more of her casual sex partners a crimminal." - (link)

"the old He said, She said routine. when are these skanks gonna learn you can't walk into a famous man's hotel room, have sex, then walk out claiming you were raped? it's called INSUFFICIENT EVIDENCE." - (link)

"Ben has probably had dozens of women. For a young, wealthy superstar, it was only a matter of time before some one-night-stand decided to cash in." - (link)

"Unsurprising -- modern women are sluts, leading to a reduced need for rape." - (link)

"Kathryn Holmquist makes a hell of a lot of sense! If a teenage girl provoke a teenage boy sexually and then turn around and says no, he’s not necessarily going to stop.

[...]

So yes, a willing drunken tongue kissing and handjob session can easily turn into a rape scenario – and girls need to know that, for their own protection.

Just like boys need to know that women are fickle and if a boy pushes a makeout session too far, he could end up facing a rape indictment." - (link)