Last updated: 8/4/2009

Like most fandom journals, this one has quite a bit of meta in it. Some of it consists of me babbling about various topics. Sometimes an interesting discussion happens in the comments without my expecting it. It can be difficult to wade through all the other entries full of...other stuff (*coughrandomcrapcough*), so here's a list of links to the meta in this LJ for your convenience.

These are just highlights. I write an awful lot on BtVS. Feel free to browse the tags, too, for other meta and polls.

( Meta Master List )

I have such mixy feelings about Him. Cause on one level, I recognize that it's a broad parody of romantic comedies and non-Bechdel-passing shows where every female character has no life or interest outside of a guy. And it shows how ridiculous this is and, ultimately, how harmful.

On the other hand, I find most of it almost unbearable to watch. For one, I don't usually have an embarrassment squick, but watching Dawn's antics at the beginning just makes me cringe. And then when Buffy gets the whammy and gets all groiny with RJ...I have to watch between fingers. It just skeeves me out.

And yet, it all gets redeemed by the last ten minutes or so. From the moment Willow and Anya are hit by the love spell. Then it escalates into some of the funniest stuff the show's ever done.

Anya seeing RJ's soul in his ass. Willow being willing to work around the penis. Anya killing for a chocolate bar. Buffy trying to kill Robin Wood with a rocket launcher.

Okay, pause. That entire scene is WIN! I laugh hysterically every time I see it. Spike tackling Buffy (with a roar!), Buffy running after him, Wood listening to muzak and being completely oblivious. I don't think there's a funnier scene anywhere.

Oh, and then Xander and Spike tag-teaming RJ to get his jacket as the big resolution. Slays me dead.

So it's like a reward of pure hilarity for sitting through the first thirty minutes of torture. And the overall intent and message is one I can get behind, even if the necessary execution is all squicky for me. I mean, really, a parody of the whole "All girls are obsessed with guys" thing is bound to be unbearable to watch for me, you know?

So...mixy.

You know, I've never been a fan of Help cause I've never been sure what to make of it. Beyond the whole "you can't save everybody" message in it. But something finally struck me on my rewatch that tied the whole thing into the larger thematic arc of the season involving Slayers.

Cassie's speech...

Cassie: You think I want this? You think I don't care? (starts to cry) Believe me, I want to...be here, do things. I want to graduate from high school, and I want to go to the stupid winter formal... (sniffles) [...] I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love, but I won't. I just never will.

Feels pretty damn similar to Buffy's speech in Becoming Pt 2 to her mother...

Buffy: Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world... again.

Cassie's situation parallels that of the Slayer. She knows she's fated to die. She knows her life has been cut short, and that, because of her fate, she's not going to enjoy everything that she'd like to. More than that, it isolates her.

From her poem:

I sit alone
and try to love them
I sit alone, a snake
I sit alone and try to
love them
I sit alone
and laugh.

The Slayer, cut off from everybody else, yet still trying to feel connected. To love them. To be with them, even though she can't be a part of their life.

This is the burden of being the Slayer that Buffy and every Slayer before her has suffered. And that's what Buffy changes by the end of the series. Like how Cassie said she would.

Buffy: See? You can make a difference.

Cassie: And you will.

*loves on S7*

goldenusagi has gone and made more of the macros for Checkpoint. In case you missed it, first post here, second post here, and newest post here.

If you're completely lost, you might wanna check out my original post on Checkpoint and the patriarchy. :)

Might as well make today my sociology day of the week here on LJ.

peroxidepirate has an entry and a poll about the lesbian voice in comparison to the stereotypical "gay male voice". She said to pimp it out to get more participation, so I'm doing my part.

Be cool. Take a poll.

It's been a while since I've felt compelled to do a feminist post.

You know, every time I see someone go off about how feminism is all about gender equity and therefore making gendered statements like "Most rapists are men" are anti-feminist and how feminism is not about women because paying attention to what's in someone's pants is sexist and shouldn't even matter therefore it doesn't matter...

I keep thinking of the inscription that Spike and Andrew found in Empty Places. You know, the one that said: "It is not for thee. It is for her alone to wield."

In other words, dude, stop. And, inevitably, this will be a guy doing it. Cause here, when a guy starts talking on behalf of feminism - no matter how good his intentions may be - people will start listening to him and ignoring the women who have been talking about it longer and in greater depth. Society's ears prefer the menfolk.

Given that, when a guy is getting it wrong and hijacking a movement that was created to improve the status of women, people will listen to that bullshit.

And that makes us wimmenfolk all crazy and hysterical when that happens.

So stop it. Or I shall use my Feminist Ruler of Disapproval on your wrist. Cause corporal punishment, even in metaphorical form, is always effective.

Title: Influence of Demons
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Buffy/Spike
Disclaimer: I could try to claim them...but I would fail...
Warnings: Explicit sex, mention of past non-con, mention of past drug use current drug use
Summary: Goes AU after S5's Checkpoint. Five years ago, Buffy and Spike fell into a portal into a dimension ruled by demons. Finally, reunited, their goal is to get back home. However, the years in the dimension have changed them. Spike's long isolation keeps him distant, and Buffy's enforced life at a brothel has caused her to forget the Slayer she used to be. Somehow, they'll have to find themselves again to defeat a powerful enemy and make it home.

Author's note: Yay! *is very happy* Many thanks to pennydrdful and ladyofthelog for their awesome help with this one. And I hope ladyofthelog forgives me for posting this without her final feedback. It's gone through so many revisions and reworkings and I finally hit the end of my patience in wanting to share it. So, if it sucks, blame me, not her.

Will provide a bit of a refresher under the cut given that it's been a while since the last chapter and we were in the middle of quite a few events going on at once. Also, previous chapters here.

( Chapter Eight: Action )

*bounces*

I love betas.

No, really. How did I write fic without other people to field it before I post?

Yep. I love betas.

Carry on.

I have my Archive of Our Own (AO3) profile set up. I am, predictably, gabrielleabelle over there. Thanks, grav_ity, for the invite!

I apparently have 50 works in the Buffy fandom. Yep. That's everything. Drabbles, longfic, one-shots. Hell, I was even able to post What Giles Found in the Library, my non-conventional drabble.

Since I went through the somewhat-lengthy process of adding 50 works to the thing yesterday, I feel a bit qualified to spell out the pros and cons here.

( You know you're curious... )

Yep. I have links. The usual disclaimers first.

1. Trigger warning! Links deal with rape issues, often from a feminist perspective. Click with care.

2. I'm not always in agreement with everything linked to. I just found it interesting and wanted to pass it along.

3. At times, there will be comments within the links. Read them if you have the chance.

( Under the cut )

Let me wrap up my S6 rewatch with a completely predictable Dark Willow poll. Then I can move on to S7, which is my Spuffy season! Yay!

But first! Dark Willow, folks! Have at it!

( You better believe you're clicking on the cut! )

I said I wouldn't do this. Really. I. Would. Not. But...damn my weak willpower!

So...that OTW archive that everybody's yapping about...

I mean, if everybody's doing it...

And then bragging about how awesome it is...

And you know me. I'm just a big crowd-follower...

So...does anybody have a spare OTW/Archive of Our Own invite that they might possibly be willing to sling at me?

Cause I'd love you. Forever. I promise a fun drabble of your favorite character/pairing. I can even make it sexy if that's your thing!

Um...purty please???

So I wanna take the opportunity to sit down and do some puzzling out of the Dark Willow episodes here. Because I'd pondered a lot on it in the past (never on LJ, for some reason) and have had some theories but nothing I've ever been happy with.

Since I now have a rewatch fresh in my mind, I'm gonna grab a transcript and start working it over.

Particularly, I want to focus on the effect of the magic. Does the magic take Willow over at some point? Or is she acting of her own will till the end? Does the use of magic follow more of the Wrecked addiction model or the pre-Wrecked "magic as a tool" model. Do Willow's control issues come into play? How much of this is identity crisis?

This isn't especially well thought out meta. This is just me brainstorming and throwing some ideas out there.

I welcome others to share their thoughts. Hell, I hope others will share their thoughts. Dark Willow massively entertains me, but I'm often at odds as to how to fit it into Willow's overall arc.

Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers readers.

( Scary Veiny Willow says to click on the damn cut. )

Back when I hit Checkpoint in my rewatch, I wrote an episode rewrite to demonstrate how the episode is All About the Patriarchy and how Buffy kicks their ass. goldenusagi has gone and started illustrating it with lolcat-like macros.

It's entirely too brilliant and hilarious to pass up.

Check it out. Now. Shoo!

You know, I was gonna do a "Who fucked up the worst?" poll for S6...but then I thought that it would be difficult to compare the various failures going on (Especially because placing anything beside trying to end the world...kinda pales). So let's take away the competition and just look at the characters individually.

This poll uses scales. 1 to 10. 1 being "This character didn't screw up hardly at all" and 10 being "This character fucked up enough to make Satan shake his head sadly". Use whatever standard you want, and rate how badly the characters screwed up.

Cause that's what S6 is all about.

( Personally, Clem would have gotten my vote as the worst fuck-up... )

Ohmigod, you guys, I finished my Influence revisions! Cause I've been sitting around, trying to figure out how to make things work, and then I had one of those lovely light bulb moments where it all makes sense!

So Chapter 8 of Influence is back out for beta! Yay!

I understand that my betas have lives outside of editing my stuff, though, so don't take this as a promise to have the next chapter out by any particular time, because it's likely that I'll have to do some more minor revisions once it comes back to me.

I don't know why I got so stuck on this one. I think it's because I was trying to think of a way to get from A to B that was completely different from the way I had used at first. And it's hard (for me) to think of another way to cover the conflict that I wanted. But I like this version much, much better, and I'm happy with what I have now.

Normal Again! Normal Again!!! *flails*

You know, S6 is an odd mix. It has some of the most brilliant episodes in the series (After Life, OMWF, Dead Things, Normal Again, Villains) and then it has some absolute duds (Wrecked, AYW).

At least the high points are really high.

I'll refrain from my Buffy-gushing because I'll get into what's going on with her whenever I do the BCBW on NA. But I actually wanna talk about Spike. Cause...wow...

We have one of my favorite Spuffy scenes in Hells Bells. Buffy and Spike are just sweet and genuine and thoughtful and pretty together there. And NA starts well, but then Spike takes a turn for the douchebag when he pulls an ultimatum on Buffy: Tell the Scoobies about them or he will.

Where did this come from? No, really. Why is it suddenly important to Spike that everybody knows about the past Buffy/Spike affair?

As I said, NA starts well. Buffy and Spike meet in the cemetery, and they have an actual conversation. It actually seems reminiscent of the "confidant" relationship Spike had with her pre-OMWF.

But things take a turn for the bad. Because Xander and Willow show up, and Buffy immediately, and blatantly, disavows any friendly overtures. In fact, suddenly she's on mid-S5 terms with him. What's more, Xander follows Buffy's lead and dismisses Spike.

That's when Spike lashes out against Xander, and then he's grumpy for the rest of the episode, culminating in his ultimatum to Buffy.

I suddenly feel the need to point you guys towards jen_nsync_landl's seasonal_spuffy contribution, In the Living Season.

Let me present my theory. Feel free to share yours. We see in Bargaining that when Buffy was dead, Spike had become a pretty fully-fledged member of the Scooby gang. He'd integrated.

However, things shifted when Buffy returned. Spike isolated himself from the rest of the group because of them pulling Buffy out of heaven. He focused his attentions on Buffy. All his reiterations that she's alone in the dark with him means that he's also alone in the dark with her.

But that all ends. Buffy breaks up with him, and Spike's adrift again. Much like he was in early to mid-S5, just he doesn't even have Harmony. His connection to his former social group is now broken. In NA, Buffy's denial of him in front of her friends ostracizes him fully. It makes him an outcast from his former comrades.

A lot of Spike's development deals with his wanting to belong. To be accepted. And he's losing all the acceptance he had had with the Scoobies. So he lashes out. He wants Buffy to acknowledge to her friends that there had been something between them. He thinks this will reform the ties. He thinks that this will, at least, recognize him as being something other than an outsider.

This is illustrated in NA in the scene in Buffy's room. Spike tries to approach her but is impeded by a sunbeam. He's isolated. There's obstacles between him and Buffy. In reality, those obstacles are due to his nature: a soulless vampire (hence the sunbeam). However, Spike doesn't realize this. He attributes it to Buffy's stubbornness. Her addiction to being miserable. Admitting to her pals that she had an affair with him will solve things, in Spike's mind.

Oh, Spike...

Why do I post these every week? Cause I'm a big ol' reverse-sexist who hates teh menfolk. Yeppers.

Disclaimers, as always.

1. Trigger warning! Links deal with rape, usually from a feminist viewpoint. Click with care.

2. I don't always agree with everything in the links. But it's thought-making and interesting.

3. At times, there will be comments. Read them, if you get the chance.

( Links. They're below here. )